Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Randomize
