I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
