do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
