I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
