She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Randomize
