More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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