I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize