ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
