but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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