the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Randomize
