Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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