so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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