I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
