where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
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