with your own penis?
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
