So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
