At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
