There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
