yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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