Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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