Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
