Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Randomize
