..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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