i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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