He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Even the bartender felt bad for me
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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