so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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