i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
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