but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
