Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Randomize
