Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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