I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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