porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
