I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
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