My nipple is on Facebook.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
