You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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