He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
no you cant smoke seaweed
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
