does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
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