Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
