I'm drive I can fine osifer
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Randomize
