Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
