Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Randomize
