I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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