We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
