we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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