They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
