Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
This show inspires me to have sex in space
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
