Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
it glows. i had to have it.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
