Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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