dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
