Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize