McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I am available for nakedness
Randomize