I only kidnapped one of them. chill
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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