This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
