areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
What a dumb baby whore.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
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