This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
