Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I could fuck to npr.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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