drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Randomize
