your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Randomize
