How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
So much rum. So many feels.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
