Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
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