i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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