Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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