Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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