if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
They should really pass out barf bags in church
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize