It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
