fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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